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Bare Minimum Parenting

By James Breakwell


Internet parenting humorist James Breakwell, bestselling author of Only Dead on the Inside, returns with a tongue-in-cheek “how to” guide offering to help parents strive for mediocrity.

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ISBN: 9781946885326

Publication Date: November 2018

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This isn’t a book about overachieving at parenting. 

This isn’t even a book about achieving exactly the right amount. 

This is a book about doing as little as possible without quite ruining your child. 

Overachieving parents want you to believe the harder you work, the better your kid will turn out. That lie ends now. 

The truth is most kids end up remarkably unremarkable no matter what you do, so you might as well achieve mediocrity by the easiest possible route. The goal of “bare minimum parenting” is to turn your child into a functional adult with only a fraction of the effort spent by super moms and dads. 

If you do it right, your kid will be no better or worse off than their kids, but with more free time left for you. That’s more valuable than all the participation trophies in the world.

In Bare Minimum Parenting, amateur parenting expert James Breakwell will teach you to stop worrying and embrace your child’s destiny as devastatingly average. To get there, you’ll have to overcome your kid, other parents, and yourself, all of whom will push you to do more than is absolutely necessary. Honestly, by reading this far, you’re already trying too hard. But don’t stop now. You’re exactly the kind of person who needs this book.

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About the Author

James Breakwell

James Breakwell is a professional comedy writer and amateur father of four girls, ages 6, 4, 2, and 7 months. He tells jokes about his family on his Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn, which has more than one million followers and continues to grow at a rapid pace.
Mr. Breakwell has the unique distinction of going viral twice in one year with two entirely different comedy concepts. In April, Buzzfeed featured Mr. Breakwell’s kid-centric jokes in an article that quickly gained more than two million views. His @XplodingUnicorn account grew by 300,000 followers in two weeks and attracted substantial interest from traditional media outlets. His jokes were featured by US Magazine,,, 9GAG,,, various ABC and Fox TV news affiliates, and countless other TV, radio, and Internet outlets.
That was the second time Mr. Breakwell went viral in 2016. On Christmas Day 2015, he started a Twitter parody account called @VeryLonelyLuke, which posts jokes in the guise of Luke Skywalker stranded on a secret water planet. That account gained 370,000 followers in its first few months and has attracted the attention of Star Wars cast members. Mark Hamill follows and regularly retweets the account, and Carrie Fisher and Peter Mayhew have both interacted with it.
Outside of Twitter, Mr. Breakwell has been a guest five times on HLN’s The Daily Share. His comedy articles have been featured by Reader’s Digest and The Federalist, and he has an upcoming piece scheduled to appear on
He makes daily webcomics at,, and His articles are available at

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Publication Details

Format: E-book Pdf

Format: E-book Mobi

Format: E-book Epub

Format: Paperback

ISBN: 9781946885326

Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.25 x 1 in.

Weight: 1 lbs.

Publication Date: November 6, 2018

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